Are you shy? Do you worry what other people think of you, so you don’t say much? Does your shyness stands in a way of your success?
It can be that you want to loose weight, but shy to go to the gym. Is there a person what you would love to go out with, but afraid even to talk to?
The one biggest mistake I see shy people making is being controlled by their emotions. Nearly all shy people make this basic mistake.
– If you avoid people who make you feel shy, then you are being controlled by your emotions.
– If you avoid public speaking because it makes you feel anxious, you are being controlled by your emotions.
– If you don’t do something just because it makes you feel nervous or afraid, then you are being controlled by your emotions.
In order to get over your shyness, you have to become less controlled by your emotions. This doesn’t mean to suppress your emotions, it simply means to act in spite of them. Mark Twain was the one who said “Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it.”
That is the ability you need to build if you want to overcome your shyness. You have to have the ability to act in spite of feeling a certain emotion. This mans that if you feel afraid to do something, you do it anyway. Act in spite of fear.
I used to be shy and was worried what people say about me talking. I was very shy when I came to US, English being my fifth language didn’t help me to be more open.
But I started observing other people and realized that all of us are shy in a way. Many just run away from the situation so they don’t have to face their fears. Others pretend so well, that there is no way to tell that they are shy!
With my observation of other people came peace. I am not that shy anymore. Here are 3 things that you need to remember when you are in a situation that make you feel shy.
- The other person that you are talking with, also is shy, just controlling his/her fears better than you at this moment.
- Many people worried about what others say. Many want to be approved by others. So at this moment, that person is more worried about how they look in front of you than what you are saying.
- Many don’t remember a conversation with other person later on. Do you remember a conversation that was a week ago with a coworker? Probably no. So don’t worry, even if you say something that makes you feel uncomfortable or stupid, all that is not noticed. More than that – forgotten right the moment you turned around and left. So no worries!
I hope my insights helped you. I hope you will remember them next time when you feel shy. There is no reason to hide you right. Open up, the world is waiting for you!
If you want more help with shyness, I recommend to check it out Sean Cooper personal story how he overcome shyness. Click here!